Here we are, coming up to the middle of January (already?), and I have a feeling that most of us have already given up on our New Year's Resolutions. How does this happen? Didn't we start out with the best intentions, feeling all golden and hopeful about what was to come? What we thought was going to be the best year of our lives, full of intrigue and happiness and heaps of success, has now turned into day after day of Kate Plus Eight marathons (I truly hope this is not the case for any of you, dear girls. That situation seems almost TOO dire).
Friends, have hope. It is not too late. Yes, we might already be scrapping our resolutions, but now is the perfect time to make new ones. This can be your year. Your wildest dreams can come true. You can make it happen. But first, we must figure out what resolutions we want to make. Resolving to do things we don't really desire will never get as ahead. Here are a few tips to making resolutions you actually believe in, and goals that will actually stick.
Think in ADJECTIVES. When we make resolutions, it is easy to think in terms of accomplishments: I want to lose weight, write a book, bake the largest cake in Wisconsin. These can be great goals, goals that will change our lives and give us peace and happiness. However, sometimes they can leave us dissatisfied. Yes, I lost weight, but I still hate my body. Yes, I wrote a book, but it is unpublished and collecting dust on my shelf. Yes, I baked that hella big cake, but now I am out of flour.
Here is a good exercise recommended by Martha Beck to help you set satisfying goals: First, think of a goal you wish to accomplish. Lets say, read all of the Pulitzer Prize-winning novels. Now, think about what feelings you hope to have by achieving this goal. Continuing our example, reading the Pulitzer Prize-winning novels will make me feel well-read and interesting, therefore I will have more to talk about at parties. Now, think of these adjectives (well-read and interesting), and think of all the things in your life that make you feel this way: reading the newspaper, attending art shows, talking about books with other people. Now think about how you can incorporate those activities into your life more. Now you have something to really work with: maybe you want to start a book club, or read the paper daily, or go to the gallery stroll in your local town every month.
My biggest tip? Actually follow through with this exercise. Really try and find the adjectives. Really look at what in your life gives you those feelings. I promise, it will be well worth it, and your goals will actually bring you closer to the life you wish to create.
Aim for the Stars. Baby, this is your life. No one is going to live it but you. Every day is your opportunity, don't waste it with a life you aren't in love with. Imagine your fantasy life, the one you long for the most, and now set the goals to get there. You are never too young, too poor, too boring, too fat, too ugly, too stupid, too busy, too ANYTHING to make your dreams come true. It's up to you, don't let yourself down. Dream big, and then (most important thing) WRITE IT DOWN. Hang on to those dreams. Many have done it before you, and you can be a part of their legacy. Don't sell yourself short. You can be a famous painter, an award-winning actress, President of the United States. You can cure cancer, dance in Swan Lake, sail around the world in your hand-crafted yacht. I believe it, only because I know that everyone who has lived their dreams has sat exactly where you are now. You are next in line.
Break it Down into Pieces. Okay, so you have set the big goals, the goals that will change your life. You have decided to make it your pledge to one day sing on Broadway. This, when thrust out into the world on it's own, is a daunting task. So break into pieces. First, practice singing every day. Then, try out for the school play. Maybe audition for an even bigger play in your town. Practice memorizing lines. There are a millions things to be done before ever getting onto Broadway, so start now with the ones you can do. Feel the accomplishment in performing these smaller tasks, knowing they are leading you to your dearest dream.
Make Daily Resolutions. I read this interesting piece by Wayne Dyer. In it he talks about living in the present, not in the past or future, so instead of making a resolution for the entire year, make your resolutions each and every day. How will I use this time to achieve my goals and enjoy the present? Don't be intimidated by the intensity of a year-long commitment. Only commit to today, the only day you know you have. Do what feels important to you now, not what you want to be important to you some day. Resolve each day to do the things that make you feel satisfied.
I hope we don't let the pressure of New Year's Resolutions bog us down. You are capable of anything. I believe in you. Make goals that make you happy, not ones that make you feel like a failure, or that you are afraid to do. Make 2011 the best year of your life.
-eliza
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